That's what she said!

My brother in law Andy is pretty much the coolest guy you'll ever meet in your life, well besides my boyfriend (love you baby!) Anyways, working with Andy is always an adventure. He always has something to say about everything. Most of the time that something is that's what she said. I don't know why that's so funny, but it is. So next time you hear anybody say long and hard, belt it out home skillet.

Another day of failure

It seems as though lately all I am to most people is a rich little doormat. It doesn't matter to them who I am or how I act, just how much they can get out of me and how much they can put me down or make my life miserable in various ways. I consider myself a tolerant person. I put up with alot and get little in return. Sometimes I wonder if life in this world was the path my soul was supposed to be on. If life is short, then why are the lives so hateful? I've tried to end it and find a new light, the trigger doesn't pull, so I just keep going through life, a failure.

When the moon met the sun.

When the moon met the sun there were technicolor rays spread across the horizon. From fiery pinks and oranges to the darkest shade of blue, all of the colors intertwined into a massive canvas of light, but a sunrise only lasts for a moment and then, the sky is entirely overtaken by daylight. Right at this moment, that is how I feel; overtaken by an unstoppable force. What this force is, I don't know, but it is making me feel like a worthless waste of a life. My mom is 110% lit for the 5th night in a row. My "best" friend has abandoned me out of hatred. My "friends" at school, well the quotation marks are self explanitory. Honestly, there are few highlights in my days, but still, when I step over our property line, I put on a smile and enjoy life even if it sucks. I wish every person in the world could do that. Happiness and kindness should be involuntary actions. Even the church sermon said that the tongue is as sharp as the sword and twice as deadly. What do you think?

And the lord said,"Let there be pineapples..."

Today, Sunday April 10, 2011, was my first trip to a church in 2011. Laila, Daniel, Ema, Hannah, and I ventured to the Chino Valley Community Church on the corner of 89 and 3 north. Since the church is less than a mile from our house, we ate some waffles and trecked over. I'm not a very "churchy" person, so going back to a religious bruhaha was a little strange at first. I found the people at CVCC were very enjoyable and the sermon included pineapples...this just about made my life! At one point during the sermon the pastor said that potato plants cannot yeild pineapples, and as most people are aware, I love pineapples! As I was sitting in the pew I silently said pineapples and did a subtle hand wave. The church also had us, as visitors, sign a "black book" where you put you name, address, and your reason for attending the church. At first I was a little sketched out about giving something called a black book my personel information, but then they explained to us that its so they can send us all thank you notes for attending the sermon. How cute! Now that's what I call small town charm! Going to this church today made me not be so ashamed to live in this little town called Chino Valley.

Is it gay for men to dye their hair?

I've always thought that piercings, hair dye, makeup, and being fashionable was more of a womans thing and of course fruity guys. Its cool I have no problems with homosexuals. For those of you who do I suggest you keep reading and answer the following questions 100% honest.
•Are you homophobic
•Have you ever judged someone for caring about their looks
•Do you care about your looks
•Have you ever or do you dye your hair
•Do you have pierced ears
•Are you a guy?
Now if the majority or all of those questions were answered yes, then you are a major hippocrit! This is just my honest opinion, but if you're gonna judge people for their looks, then you better not be a snappy dresser or I will come to your house and kick your ass! Do you see the logic behind that? I do.

Do u remember that?

When you eat food u don't taste anything you just remember the taste that you tasted before and that's how you taste stuff. Isn't that totally deep? Like think about it bra, you taste something but you remember stuff that you tasted before! Its totally jedi X treatment! That's what they call it in alabama! You know why? Me either! Just something about like you know the climatude and stuff.
<3 meeeee bitches!

When love comes in a shiny new package

To me, love is something that usually comes in a horses eyes or a mom. Ive seen people who are in love, but I never thought that same love could ever be sent in my direction. Normally, I wouldn't ever think that a man could love me. Me who sleeps alot and devotes most of my time on a horse or on the farm. Me who spends friday nights with my sister, sitting on my bed, and drinking carnation instant breakfast. That's what type of love I knew, well until he wandered into my life. He might not be my one and only someone, but he's definitely the only one I wanna be with right now and for quite a while. Sometimes, we don't know what we have til its gone, and after 2 falling outs, we have finally seen eachother in our darkest and lightest states. I know I sound like a lovesick puppy, but when u can't handle someone at their worst, you don't deserve them at their best. Im one of those people who's worst shows alot more than their best. I don't mean it, but when im around him all I want to do is throw my best at him! I hope that all or anybody reading this blog, will find someone who you want to throw your greatness at. Its the best feeling in the world and even though the one you think might be THE one might not be, its an amazing feeling to have. My life might not be perfect, but im making it my own fairytale.

Im thinking of a word that starts with c.....is it walrus?

Phoenix, AZ is a really busy place, but most people only recognize it for its heat! That's exactly what I think of everytime I go to the valley. Today it was like 98 degrees, but I've been down there for horse shows before where I had to compete in 115 degree weather with a coat on! Craziness!!!!! Heat's a funny thing though! Its kind of like a gangbang, one day its really nice and the next the heat just sneaks up on you and ass rapes you! That's how were all gonna be feeling for the next few weeks all over Arizona, ass raped in the heat of the moment, but don't be sad! This is a great time to buy new furniture!

Goin to the beach to do beachy things

So today I realized something; lives not just walruses and cock sauce, it sucks sometimes! Everybody goes through hard times though! People get shit talked about them and people talk shit! Its wheiner eat wheiner out there, and you really don't have anybody to trust, but youself. It doesn't matter if someone says they're your "best friend" or even a sister, they're still going to betray you at some point or another. You think jesus really wanted judise to betray him? Ofcourse not, but he knew one of them would and chances are they were all only there for the free food and booze. Now you don't have to listen to me, but can you honestly not recall a time that you were judise? If you can't than you're either a liar or the reincarnation of ghandi because everybody does it! Its about as natural as marijuana. Im not implying that you should take the "golden rule" (treat others how you wanna be treated) to heart, but just maybe for once in your life not remember someone as something fucking terrible. That's all! Peace out mother fuckers!

Darwin's theory may need modification

According to the freshmen science version of Arizonasoo Instrument to Measure Standards, Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution needs to be modified. The only logical explanation that I can reach for this is (drumroll please) JESUS LOVERS! Not only do they put up freakin chapels on every residential AND commercial street, but now they want to change someone's perfectly good theory! Its nothing against their God or Jesus Christ, its just what Darwin thought happened. Maybe he was a Christian! THEY don't know! THEY are just pissed because they don't want to be the retarded offspring of generations of monkeys fucking fish and learning how to throw their own shit at eachother! Who gives a flying fuck about it? Only in Arizona would they put something like that into a standardized test. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a baptized Catholic and I've read the bible cover to cover (which is more that I can say for a good majority of Chino Valley Christians) and although I am not a practicing Catholic, I still respect others peoples views and theories (hint hint.) All im saying is that there should be a limit on the religiuos wack jobs craziness in one area! I mean not only are they putting churches up everywhere (and I mean everywhere!!!), getting their opinions into standardized tests, and standing on numerous street corners and "preaching" gods word. They are taking jobs away from innocent prostitutes! What street corner are they supposed to stand on? Oh wait they don't have one anymore because some crazy people speaking in tongues are there. Sorry Jesus, but I highly doubt this was what you meant by loving your fellow man.